Video of the Week: Figure 03 Launch

Perhaps, like me, you're a teeny-tiny bit obsessed about how close we are to having someone else to stack the dishwasher and tidy your kids' stuff away.

Perhaps, like me, you see the inevitable arrival of multi-functional, bipedal, humanoid robots through this particular lens. In which case, like me, you'll probably overlook the rather obvious concerns of what faceless, conscienceless beings roaming around our homes might really be up to on behalf of their creators.

Instead, you'll simply be waiting excitedly for the time when you can lounge around - as the humans in this Video of the Week are doing - beside your swimming pool in your fifth home in the woods, whilst the robot also entertains the dog and daintily cuffs things into the washing machine.

A big welcome, therefore, to Figure 03 - the third (no, really) and latest robot to be released by the clever people at Figure. This one's a bit cooler to go with being cleverer - it's got interchangeable threads, a charging stand that lets it sleep standing up and an attitude that's all human gain, no human pain*.

Relax into your incredibly luxurious white sofa whilst it waters your plants. Bellow with laughter at your impeccable friends' hilarious anecdotes over fine wine, whilst it folds your smalls. Remain uncomfortably vigilant as it steps relentlessly towards your child with purpose, before veering off to the kitchen to make you a cup of tea.

Will all this be worth it in the end? There are a lot of these being built now, particularly in China, and they're getting better all the time. The one scene in this objectively beautiful video that gave me slight shudders is where the bot is loading the washing machine and you're looking through its "eyes". This thing will see all. Know all. It's one thing allowing Alexa to hear what your family's favourite thing to row about is; quite another for a robot to be able to get mediaeval on anyone that dares disagree with its ultimate owner.

Me? No. I just focus on the time that will soon be saved, when I can exchange dishwasher-emptying time for sitting by my extravagant pool sipping exquisite coffee - coffee which I also did not have to make). Because that's all that's really going to happen, isn't it?

Isn't it?

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* Please note that there is no guarantee that its attitude will be all human gain, no pain.